Abakobwa baratandukanye mu miterere,imitekerereze,imigendere(uko bifata),..Uko batandukanye ninako badakunda kimwe. Ariko byanze bikunze hari aho bagira bahurira ku mikundire yabo no mu buryo bagaragazamo amarangamutima.
Ibi ni ibimenyetso bahuriraho,umusore ashobora kumenyeraho umukobwa umukunda by’ukuri :
1.Agukunda uko uri ?
Ahanini umukobwa utagukunda urukundo nyarukundo,aba afite ikintu runaka agakurikiyeho. Haba umutungo,amafaranga menshi uhembwa cyangwa winjiza,imibereho myiza ufite,umuryango wifashije cyangwa ukize,…Umukobwa ugunda by’ukuri agukundira uko uri. Ushobora kwibaza uti ese,mfite urwego rwiza rw’ubuzima ndiho kugeza ubu,nabwirwa n’iki unkunda atankundiye ibyo mfite ?
Ni ikibazo cyiza ariko kiroroshye kukibonera umuti. Kugira ngo umenye neza ikimugenza,bisaba igihe gihagije no kumwiga birambuye. Uko mugenda mumarana igihe, ninako ugenda ubona mu byukuri icyo agamije n’icyo agukurikiyeho.Ashobora kukwishushanyaho ukwezi kumwe ariko nimumarana igihe gihagije nk’umwaka uzashyira ubone uruhande ahagazemo.
2.Ntagusaba ibya mirenge ?
Iyi ngingo yuzuzanya niya mbere. Umukobwa ugukunda ntaguhoza ku nkeke agutura ibibazo ,n’ibyo udashoboye akabikwikoreza. Kutaremerera umusore bakundana,ni ikimenyetso wagenderaho ukamenya umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri.
3.Aragukebura ?
Mu Kinyarwanda baca umugani ngo ntawigira kandi ngo ntamugabo umwe. Abasore bagira ingeso zimwe na zimwe zitari nziza. Hari izo umusore aba yaravukanye ari kamere ye cyangwa izo agenda yigira kuri bagenzi be. Umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri agerageza kugukebura aho abona bitagenda neza. Iyo abona ufite imico cyangwa ingeso zikwangiriza isura mu bandi,akoresha uko ashoboye akakwereka ububi bwayo akanagufasha kuyikira.
4. Agushyira muri gahunda ze z’ejo hazaza
Mwene uyu mukobwa ahora yihatira gukora ibikorwa bibafitiye mwembi ejo hazaza akamaro. Niyo ntacyo murageraho, wumva mu nzozi ze harimo kuzabana na we ubuzima bwe bwose. Nubwo mutarabana ariko atangira kukugufata nk’umutware we.
5.Biragorana ko muryamana ?
Nubwo muri iki gihe urubyiruko rwagize gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’umukino ,umukobwa ugukunda byukuri biragorana ko akwemerera ko muryamana. Yego hari ababanza kwijijisha ngo bakwereke ko batigeze basambana ariko ahanini umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri icyo abikorera ni uko aba yumva kuryamana byatuma hagira igihinduka mu hazaza hanyu nkuko twabibonye mu ngingo ibanza.
Iteka kuri we aba yifuza ko wazamubere umutware. Kuba mwaryamana igihe kitaragera(Mutarasezerana),aba abona ushobora kudohoka cyangwa kuva mu rukundo/umubano mwari mufitanye. Wowe uba ubonye icyo ushaka ,we akabona azasigara arira mu myotsi kubera icyemezo kigayitse yafashe akareka mukaryamana. Si ukuvuga ko adafite umubiri nkuw’abandi cyangwa ngo abe agira ubushyuhe mu mubiri,ahubwo atekereza cyane ku ngaruka z’icyo gikorwa yaba yishoyemo imburagihe.
6. Aguhishurira amateka y’ubuzima bwe ?
Umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri kandi ukwibonamo,arakwibwira wese. Nubwo abakobwa bakunda kwirekura no kuvuga amateka y’ubuzima bwabo,ariko iyo ageze aho akubwira byose byamubayeho,ibyo yaciyemo,iba ari intambwe nziza yo kukwizera no kukwimariramo.
Ntiwabwira umuntu utizeye ubuzima bwawe cyangwa amateka yawe yahahise. Icyo ugomba kugenzura ,ni ukureba niba akubwira byose. Kukubwira byose hakubiyemo no kukubwira amakosa n’ingeso mbi zagiye zimuranga mu hahise he. Umukobwa ukubwira ibyiza gusa yagiye akora cyangwa byamubayeho,uzamugireho ikibazo,utangire no kumukemanga.
7. Kukugirira ishema
Umukobwa ugukunda aterwa ishema na we. Igihe mugendana ntagira ipfunwe ryo kugufata akaboko, kukwisanzuraho atitaye ku maso ya rubanda. Kugukunda akanabyerekana ni ikimenyetso wagenderaho ukemeza ko agukunda by’ukuri kandi atagutendekaho abandi basore/bagabo.
8.Kukubaha
Umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri arakubaha. Guca bugufi k’umukobwa /umugore imbere y’igitsinagabo ni ikimenyetso cy’urukundo. N’ubwo uburinganire bwaje ariko ntibwakuyeho ko umugore aba agomba guca bugufi imbere y’umugabo.
9.Kukugaragariza urukundo n’amarangamutima nta mbereka
Kuba ukunda umuntu ntibihera mu magambo. Ugomba kubimwereka no mu bikorwa. Iyo umukobwa ateye intambwe akakwereka ko ataria amagambo gusa ahubwo akagira n’ibikorw agukorera,fata ukomeze umukobwa ni uwo. Ibyo bikorwa harimo:Kukugenera impano,kuzirikana amataliki y’ingenziy’ubuzima bwawe,kukuba hafi igihe uri mu byishimo ndetse no mu byago mukba muri kumwe,…
Kuri ibi bimenyetso hiyngeraho kukwishimira,kukwerekana mu muryango we no mu nshuti ze(Presentation),Kukwishimira igihe muri kumwe,kumva mutandukana,kugukumbura,kuguhamagara cyangwa ubundi buryo bwose mwagiranamo ikiganiro,..
